


Growing Pains

by Topographical_Map_Of_Utah



Series: Along Came Baby [17]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: But The Kind That Actually Happens, Finn Give Your Husband A Hug, M/M, Mpreg, Stormpilot, Trans!Poe Dameron, domestic AU, parenting is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-01 23:37:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8642659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah/pseuds/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah
Summary: Kids get older and the world gets meaner. It's the parent's job to help the kid figure it all out.





	

 "I don't wanna." Shara whined, giving the table another kick. "I don't wanna and you can't make me."

Seemed to be the theme of today. Poe bit back a curse while he wiped the applesauce off of Aiden's forehead. Shara had banged her cup on the table and startled her little brother into smacking his bowl into his face. The little guy hadn't known what hit him.

"Stop kicking, Shara. You're scaring your brother." _And giving me a fucking headache,_  Poe thought.Shara just pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. It's like the kid was making a special effort to be a royal pain in his ass. She hadn't wanted to hold his hand when he picked her up from soccer, had kept kicking the back of his seat on the drive home, and now she positively refused to eat her broccoli, opting instead to pout and squirm in her squeaky chair. The baby elbowed Poe in the ribs and he grunted. At five months the kid couldn't seem to settle down in there. Why had he and Finn done this whole family thing, again?

"How many times do I have to tell you..." Poe held the table in place and scowled at Shara, who just kicked it again. "Quit it. What's gotten into you today?"

"Why're you so weird?" she demanded without looking at him. Poe paused and looked down to follow her line of sight. Her gaze was burning a hole in his belly, like she was trying to see the baby in there. Feeling just a little bit exposed Poe wrapped his arms around his stomach and shot her a look. Okay, this was more than just your average temper tantrum.

"First off, that's incredibly rude. What do you mean, Shara?" She shook her head and Poe sighed. "Tell me what this is about. Did something happen at school?"

"I hate school." she announced. "I hate my classmates and I'm never going there ever again. You knew I'd get made fun of, there." Shara insisted, her pitch getting higher and higher with each word. "You knew you were doing somethin' wrong when you had me. We're not a real family."

"Shara..." She ignored the warning in his voice and got up from the table, her lip stuck out in an impudent pout. Where the hell was this coming from? 

"You're not supposed to have babies. Girls are supposed to have babies. I wish I had a normal mommy and daddy, like everyone else's got. Nobody in my class is like me. I wish we weren't gonna have a baby. I wish you were normal!" she yelled. Poe was about to send her to her room, but Shara did the job herself, running down the hall and slamming her door shut.

Poe didn't quite know where to go from here. Shara's words pressed heavy on his chest, making it impossible to chase after her. That was probably just the baby, actually. It looked like he was carrying around another big one. He slumped down against the counter, absently rubbing his stomach and staring at the ceiling. After a couple minutes Aiden stumbled over, dragging along his teddy bear and whimpering. There was still applesauce clinging to his thin curls. Poe sighed, trying to pick it out. He really was bad at this whole parenting thing, wasn't he?

"Aiden, it's okay..." The little guy whimpered and reached out, but Poe shook his head apologetically and took him by the hand. "I can't carry two kids at the same time, buddy. Sorry." Aiden's face fell just a little when Poe pulled him into the living room and dropped down on the couch, but when he noticed Poe's belly he giggled.

"Baby." he announced, climbing up onto the couch and pointing. A smile managed to spread across Poe's face, watching Aiden try and follow the baby as it kicked and squirmed under his shirt. The little guy had made the connection that something was alive in there after seeing Finn holding up tiny onesies against Poe's baby bump. "Our baby?"

"Yeah, that's right. Your little brother." Poe said quietly. Aiden grinned, showing off his dimples and pearly little teeth. The baby kicked Aiden's hand again and he pointed towards Shara's bedroom.

"Get Shar?" Shara always went into ecstasies when her youngest brother kicked, laughing and patting Poe's tummy, holding pretty elaborate conversations with the baby in there. She still called him Peanut, even if the name didn't quite fit anymore. A lot had changed since the first ultrasound. He almost looked like a proper person, now.

"No. Shara needs some alone time right now." 

"Shar been bad?" Aiden yawned. That nickname annoyed Shara to no end. So much so that one day she had taken Aiden to her bedroom and sat him down in the hopes of teaching him how to properly pronounce her name. Finn and Poe had stood laughing silently outside the door while she coached him. 

_Sha-ra. It's not hard, see? Sha-ra._

_Shar._

_No! Shaa-raa. Say Shara, Aiden._

_Shar._

 Unfortunately, all her efforts had been met with limited success. Poe chewed his lip and sighed while Aiden nuzzled his belly. He should talk to Shara. He should. Getting up was too much effort, though, and Aiden was too warm and cuddly to go without. While Poe was blowing raspberries on Aiden's belly the floor creaked in the other room. The commotion must have woken Finn, who stumbled out of the bedroom, sleep-warm and yawning.

"Christ, Poe. Can't a guy sleep around here without..." When he saw Poe's expression Finn sighed and leant against the doorway. The guy was perceptive as all hell. "What's going on?"

"I'll tell you later." Poe mumbled. 

"No need. Heard it all. I can fix it. You go take a nap or something." He pulled Poe upright and kissed him on the cheek, scooping up Aiden with his free arm. The other hand he pressed to Poe's belly, making him squirm. "Itchy?"

"Yeah..." Poe rubbed Aiden's back and looked hopefully at Finn. "There any ice cream left?"

"Bought some on my way home from work. Double chocolate. Nothing too crazy."

"You're a saint." Poe sighed, nuzzling into Finn's neck. "Dammit. I leave at the crack of dawn, tomorrow. And I doubt Shara's gonna come out tonight..."

"You can patch things up with her later, alright?" Poe never seemed to grasp that there had to be a cool down period after an argument. He always wanted to jump straight to the reconciliation. "I'll take care of it, trust me. Have some ice cream and go to bed. Not too much, though. Kid's big enough as is." Finn leant down and pressed a kiss to the top of Poe's belly. "How's it going in there?"

"All serene, I'd say." Poe rubbed his side and smiled at Finn. "Thank you."

"It's my job. Now go to bed." 

Once Poe toddled off and Aiden was all settled for the night Finn stood in front of Shara's door, staring at the growth chart nicked into the frame. Seemed awful quiet in there. His knock didn't get any response, so he just stepped in, sighing when he saw Shara facedown on the bed. This should be fun. 

"Shara, look at me." She shook her head, face still buried in her pillow. "Shara, Papá said that something happened during dinner. Can you tell me what happened?" Again with the head wagging. "Why not?" 

"'Cause..." Shara muffled a hiccup before finally peeking at Finn with red, teary eyes. Finn sighed and sat down on the edge of her bed. Goddammit. He couldn't stand seeing his kids hurt. Even something as insignificant as a paper cut put him on edge. "'Cause if I tell you, you won't like me no more, either."

"Don't say that, baby-girl. We both love you, got that? More than anything. I just want to understand what happened so we can make it better." Shara nodded and Finn pushed her tangles away from her sweaty forehead. "So what happened, Shara?"

"I said mean things to Papá. I'm really really sorry..." she sniffled. "I'm..." Finn sighed and let her burrow into his arms, hiccuping and sobbing. Now that he had gotten her talking it would probably be hard to make her stop. "I didn't mean it I promise but Kayla and her friends are really mean to me and it makes me feel bad and gives me tummy aches." Once the hiccups slowed down Finn squeezed her tighter and pressed a kiss to her tear-streaked cheek. "Please don't be angry."

"I'm not angry, baby-girl." Finn grabbed a tissue and wiped the tears and snot from face. "Who's Kayla?"

"She's in Ms. Phoebe's class with me. Her birthday party's today. Everybody got invited. Except for me." Shara sobbed into his shirt. "She said it was 'cause you and Papá are bad people and her daddy doesn't want her 'socciating with bad people. Her mommy said the same thing and I dunno what she means by bad people so I asked and she said Papá's a freak and you're a freak but Papá 'specially and I'm a freak, too." Her voice cut off in another sob and Finn pulled her closer. "I don't wanna be a freak."

"You're not a freak, baby-girl. None of us are."

"Everybody thinks so. Everybody." She pulled away and looked at Finn, her face crinkled up and confused. "Why'd you and Papá have me?" 

"Why does anyone decide to have kids?" Shara screwed up her face and shrugged, making Finn laugh as he rocked her back and forth, the little bed squeaking a bit. She'd outgrow it soon. Hell, the whole family would outgrow this apartment in a couple years. "That's just it. There's no special reason. We just wanted kids, same's everyone else. Stuff's tough, I know. It's unfair, what people think about us. But we're not freaks, baby-girl, got that?" Shara nodded, thank God. This kid was a trooper if Finn had ever seen one. "Great. You're really brave, y'know that? The bravest kid I know."

"So you don't hate me?" Shara said softly.

"We could never hate you, Shara." She started to tremble in his arms and Finn held her tighter. "We could never hate you. Look, Papá's asleep right now, but you have to apologise to him when he gets home from work tomorrow, alright?" She nodded and Finn hugged her close, leaning back against the wall and looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars scattered across the ceiling. "Good to hear."

For awhile he just sat there and rocked her, humming a lullaby. She still fit pretty comfortably in his lap, even if her knees had to be drawn all the way up to her chest. He thought she had fallen asleep, then she tugged at his collar and yawned, a question only now occurring to her.

"Daddy?" 

"Yeah?"

"Why do people want to make us feel bad for being alive?" she sighed as her eyes fluttered shut. Finn pursed his lips and considered, Shara snoring softly in his arms by the time he came to an unsatisfying conclusion.

"The world's not quite ready for us, baby-girl." he decided with a resigned sigh. "Almost, but not quite..."

Hopefully it would be ready sooner rather than later.

 

\------

 

Poe flopped against the door and closed his eyes, fingers going straight to undoing his tie. Today had been okay. Aside from remembering what was going on at the home front, today had been busy and exhausting and okay. But mostly exhausting. He could practically hear his pyjama pants and hoodie calling his name. But just as he was taking off his coat Shara peeked up at him over the back of the couch. Fuck. He wasn't ready for this. One night. One night curled up with Finn was all Poe asked before confronting this. He just couldn't catch a break, could he? 

"It's past your bedtime, kiddo." he reminded her. "Dad's gonna have my neck if he finds you out here..." Without a word Shara ran up and wrapped her arms around Poe's knee, burying her face in his stomach. He sighed and ran a hand through her damp curls. She smelled like bubble bath and that vanilla shampoo Rey had bought for her, simple and familiar.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. "I was mean and I'm sorry and-"

"Alright, kiddo, alright." After some huffing Poe managed to kneel and properly wrap his arms around her. "You had a talk with Dad?"

"Yeah." Well that was a relief. No need to rehash what had already been discussed, then. 

"I know you didn't mean what you said."

"I didn't. I really really didn't mean it. I want the baby. I want another brother. I really do. Please don't send him back." she pleaded.

"Send him back? What does that mean?" 

"Leo said that if grownups change their mind the stork will come back and give the baby to someone who wants it. That's how his mom said they got him." Poe suppressed a laugh and tried for a serious nod. Well, that was a pretty convoluted way to explain adoption, but okay. "You're not gonna send Peanut away, are you?"

"No, of course not. I'm pretty fond of him, if you can believe it." 

"Really?" Poe nodded and Shara giggled. "But he made you all big and fat and slow." To illustrate she held her arms out like a ballerina in first position, waddling around and doing what Poe had to admit was a pretty accurate impression of him. Finn had passed on his gift for mimicry, apparently. "And he makes you eat a lotta gross stuff, too." 

"So did you. I still like you." Poe pointed out. "And marshmallow pizza's great. Don't knock it."

"But it's all icky and melty and one time you put barbecue sauce on it."

"Well, Peanut decided that's what he needed for him to grow. And it worked, see?" 

"Yeah." Laughing, Shara pressed her hands to Poe's bulging belly. At that exact moment the baby kicked, much to Shara's delight. "Hi, Peanut." She pressed her ear against Poe's tummy and laughed. "I can hear him breathing."

"That so?" No harm in letting her believe that, at least for now. She gave his belly a kiss and smiled at him, looking miles happier. That was a weight off Poe's shoulder. "You feel better now?" Shara nodded and Poe poked her gently in the tummy. Her giggle was back to being light and bubbly, carefree as only a five year old can be. Looks like they were in the clear. "And you know that we're a family, right?"

"Yeah."

"And what do we do when somebody says we're not a family?"

"Punch 'em." It was a little concerning, how quickly she jumped to that conclusion. Poe would worry if it wasn't entirely from his side of the family. 

"Shara..."

"Say that a family can be all sorts of people and that the big important thing is that they all love each other." she amended. But it didn't take long for a mischievous grin to spread across her freckled face, another thing she had inherited straight from Poe. "And then punch 'em."

"We'll have to work on that." Poe decided, giving Shara's curls a quick ruffle. "You want me to tuck you in?"

"Yes, please." 

"Aces. Now go and get Dad outta bed. I can't get up."

**Author's Note:**

> parenting's tough and these two are trying their darndest, goddammit


End file.
